Somewhere Between A Shriner’s Convention And A Leisurely Stroll Through Bethlehem…

by Joseph D. Reich

They got this whole thing i swear
every year and aint exaggerating
like some half-crazed very sane
silly sadistic reunion like some
running of the bulls through
the streets of pamplona
of a reenactment of jesus
and schmucks literally
tying themselves up
to a cross and taking
that infamous final
walk of judgment
and humiliation
through the poor
jesus parade route
of bethlehem and
tie themselves up
neat and convenient
to some newly-bought
made-to-look fit-to-form
mock cross (comes in
all different shapes and
sizes something like a
small, medium, large)
and you got all these
cookie-cutter tourists
on cookie cutter-crosses
(interestingly not at
all too coincidentally
a bunch of cut-throats)
posing sincere and earnest
like monks on cell phones
heading with their sandals
and robes up the slopes
of the himalayas supposedly
originally to contemplate to
become centered and their
pals or friends and acquaintances
sticking their very smart smart phones
up in the air and taking shots of them
what’s next? they all huddle together
strapped to their souvenir crucifixes
with grins from ear to ear for the group
photo? the famous pyramid? gather for
a cup of cappuccino with their crosses
at the table? a bottle of gatorade or
vitamin water cause dehydrated?
when they get home do they
have a specific photo album
devoted to the whole affair
so they can reminisce
and boast and bore
the hell out of friends
and keep on repeating
the same old tired tale
over and over and over again?
(the greatest story ever told
literally told over and over
and over and over like a
broken record turning
it into some remake
or sitcom for your
viewing pleasure?
some boring cowboy
sob story which ironically
torments and tortures?)
have it instantly transferred
and superimposed onto
holiday cards or a plate
for the wall or a special
slide show presentation
where they invite friends
and family for wine and
cheese? thank the lord
they can’t do selfies…

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